It’s Sunday. My wife decided to go to church. My lil’ girl went along. I told them I disapproved, for all the good that did. When they started out the door I told them to tell Jeeezussss hi for me. ha!
Shit. How to show what a fantasy religion is to people programmed from birth? It took me a long fucking time to get here. I was thinking this morning, the one thing my mom did very good for me was to allow and encourage me to think for myself. Eventually reason, knowledge and reality drug my ass out of the abyss. Sucks that it took so long. I understand and sympathize with people who cling to religion out of fear and because of their programming. It still drives me nuts and pisses me off. THEY don’t piss me off, the goddamn programmers piss me off. I KNOW there are dickheads and dickette-heads pulling strings up at the top of the pyramid of shit. But ain’t no way to convince these people who are so goddamned programmed, like the poor schmucks in North Korea who cried over the death of their fucking murdering bastard of a dictator. Ugh.
To be fair, my wife goes more for the cultural aspect than any deep religious conviction. My daughter goes mostly, I think, because she wants to dress up. They go to do something with grandmaw and grandpaw.
Something else that pisses me off is how my kids are exposed to programming every goddamn place they go in this hellish town. My wife will not reject her religious beliefs because of her fear but she does not do the programming. THAT is done every goddamn place else here, from school to grandmaw and every other fucking religious prick/prickette in this horrid town. I am exceptionally outnumbered.
I hate it that my kids are so exposed that they tend to believe religious bullshit, that there is some fruit fairy up in some fucking heaven somewhere. I tell them it’s bullshit. I tell them it’s time to quit believing in the tooth fairy, santa clause, and god. There’s not a hell of a lot more I can do without completely destroying everything I have. All I can hope for is that they will use their brain and get over their beliefs just as they have belief in Santa. Sigh. My wife and kids love me with an incredible intensity. I KNOW that, especially about my wife because I am EVERYTHING christians are not and still she accepts me.
Yesterday she said she knew I rejected religion. It’s because I want to cuss and drink and smoke. ha. I reminded her how the majority of rednecks in this town cuss, smoke, and drink, and then show up Sunday morning dragging their hangover with them. Once or twice a year they ‘repent’. Jeeezuz washes their sins away so they can to fuck up some more. that’s how it works. Shit, how stupid is that?
Lately I’ve been kind of dead in my gut. Not unhappy. Just so goddamn lethargic and …what… apathetic. I find it difficult to work myself up towards being indignant. Blahhhh! This world is so fucked up and there’s not a goddamn thing I can do about it. I am beginning to not give a shit about anything any more. My idealistic streak is dying a fast and ugly death. And it’s too fucking late.
Oh well. Whatever. Pandora’s Hard Rock Radio is kick-ass tunes! I need some booze… or a bit of weed. I’ll have to settle for coffee and my little cigar.
May you have a fucking terrific godless day!