The Texas Bohemian

Word artist. Jack of all Trades.

Bonkers

I am going bonkers.

Since Friday I’ve added paranoia to paranoia and anxiety to depression.  Before last week I was pretty much settled on the idea that I have a terrible condition I’d have to live with–enough to be depressed over but something I could adjust to.

But then came the tests.  Houston VA says, “maybe there is something.”

Then came the apt’s for a cath.  People say it’s no big deal, most of my family have had them, it has me freaked.  I’m just 50.  If I’m screwed up this bad now, how long do I really have?

I know.  I’m being stupid.  But so what?  I was born stupid and got worse.  What I don’t like is not knowing.  And I just don’t know.  I hate not knowing.  Not knowing is driving me crazy.

I don’t want to look at the computer but I sit here self-diagnosing.

I want a drink but can’t drink.

Crap.

I have to go.

August 17, 2008 - Posted by | Blather

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