The Texas Bohemian

Word artist. Jack of all Trades.

Pain and Shame

tell my kids that pain lets us know we’re still alive.  I work on getting them toughened up a little so they’re not whiny all their lives.  Whiny people tend to be selfish and self-centered.  Nevertheless, I don’t believe people should have to endure severe pain when there are medical options to correct it or find a cause and fix it.

I have pain.  For a year now I’ve lived a condition that makes life a challenge, to say the least.  Sometimes it makes life hell.  I don’t blame God for making me ill nor believe he is punishing me for something or “teaching me a lesson.”  That is absurd.  I blame my imperfect body for this condition.  But I blame the selfish greed of America’s medical profession that I cannot find any relief for this agonizing and debilitating pain.   God gave them the knowledge and ability to serve mankind in a way we can’t serve ourselves.  They have rejected God’s directive and chosen to serve themselves at our expense.

When this problem struck the VA was my only option.  I went.  I got pain pills and skepticism.  The pain pills, codeine, screwed up my brain.  I got paranoid.  I wound up at the ER once sure I was going to die.  The ER doc said my heart needed checking out.  The VA said, “nah, we don’t think so.”  In December I figured out the muscle relaxants were part of the problem.  I quit them.  Then I cut way down on the pain pills when I figured out they were screwing with my thoughts and emotions.

Today I have the pain intermittently and unpredictably.  I can’t walk briskly but I can work.  I have to stop often if the pain flares.  I work through it.  I grit my teeth.  I go on.  When it gets very bad or every few nights when I can’t lie down I take a couple of pain pills.  I’m learning to live with it.  I shouldn’t  have to.

America’s medical profession, especially the doctors in this town, are heartless and greedy.  I don’t expect free help.  I do expect the medical profession to live up to its creed.   I would expect a profession that is supposed to be dedicated to humanity as the medical profession is supposed to be to find ways to help all Americans, not just those who can pay and/or who have insurance.

We can’t afford insurance.  I have no job and no way to get one.  I couldn’t work one now if I found a job because of this condition.  I live with all kinds of troubles most people would be in Dr’s offices in a second for.  I will probably die younger than I should because I can’t get the preventative medicine people with money and insurance are able to get.  I don’t resent those who can get medical help.  I am disappointed that our nation is eat up with greed and that the poor no longer matter at all.  And it’s pretty sad that I might not see my kids grow into maturity because of someone else’s greed.

It’s not must me, however.  I matter far less than my kids and my kids suffer too.  My kids have Medicaid but no doctor in this town will take it.  My oldest daughter has not had a checkup in almost a year and never a woman’s checkup though she is 15 and it’s time she did.  She has carpal tunnel and can’t get help for that, either.  She’s to old for pediatricians.  The younger two can get help but at a very inferior clinic staffed by nurse practitioners and owned by a prominent pediatrician who never shows his face there.

I wrote a letter to the editor of our local paper blasting local doctors for shamefully neglecting the poor by refusing to take the medical insurance they have.  The letter was printed.  Here’s the link:

http://www.lufkindailynews.com/opin/content/news/opinion/stories/2008/06/8/letter_gresham.html

It’s the printing of this letter that sparked my blog today.

What a shame this nation is so eat up with greed.  What a shame that doctors are more worried about their fancy houses, nice cars, high society than they are about serving the people they’re supposed to care for.  Once the medical profession was looked upon as an honorable profession, a place where people gave their lives caring for others.  In this country it’s sought by greedy people who care nothing of their patients and everything about how much they can make.  The American medical profession has fallen from its high place to the dregs.  It is all about money.

What a tragedy that this blog sits unread on a server.  What a tragedy that the poor have no voice.  What a tragedy that those who “have” do not care about they who don’t and they who don’t are so busy trying to keep their family fed and worrying over their children’s health that they don’t have the time nor the will to protest. What a tragedy that hope is a flame that is quickly being snuffed out with deliberate effort by greedy people in high places with cold hearts.

As for me, I have no hope.  I expect no change.  I believe the wealthy–including doctors–see the poor as nothing more than a subservient class to use up for their own pleasure.  As long as there are enough of us to wait their tables, wash their cars, and pick up their trash then who cares if we are dying slow and painful deaths?  Who cares at all?

June 9, 2008 - Posted by | Blather

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