Weekends afford me the opportunity to do a little contemplation as I wait for my beloved wife to rise from her slumber. She’s a night person, I’m a morning person. Already I wrote that post just below about our “sin nature” for a yahoo group.
No idea exactly what we’ll do today. I had hoped to be able to do something with my brother but I suppose he’s too busy sitting at Mom’s to visit us. Fishing trip is postponed.
As I sat here this morning reflecting on life and such I remembered the events of Thursday evening which I should have brought up already. I’m very proud of my wife.
On Thursday my brother asked if we’d join them at the local El Chico’s for dinner. It’s “kids eat free” night so we went. Prices were way up and we’d wished we were not there but anyway, we were there.
The girl who came to be our waitress had an attitude from the very beginning. We didn’t get any service. She took forever to come back to the table. My mom needed something and got her attention while she was waiting on another table and the girl snapped “I’ll be there in a minute.” She went on to take care of yet another table before asking briefly and brusquely what my Mom wanted. Then she flitted away before I was able to tell her what we needed on our end of the table. When we did get her attention and I told her I needed water, our kids STILL had not gotten their drinks and we needed napkins and she literally rolled her eyes in disgust.
We believe a waitress earns a tip. It is not a given. So, we did not tip. When she saw that she mumbled within earshot something like, “they’re giving nothing?” She was the worst waitress I’ve ever ran across. And I’ve known plenty and been boss to a few.
The tip remark was just over the top. My wife called a manager. There was a time when she might have told the manager off and demanded the restaurant make amends. If she didn’t, I would have. But this time my wife spoke kindly to the manager and told him that she didn’t want the girl to loose a job but he should know that she is going to cost the restaurant customers. “These days,” she said, “jobs are hard to get and I don’t want the girl to loose her job. You should know that she’s going to cost you business. Perhaps you should talk with her.”
I’m not sure I would have taken that point of view even though I am trying to follow the teachings of Jesus and Gautama as closely as possible. My wife’s remarks were very kind and understanding. THIS is the kind of civility we need in our world. We could have been very unkind. By the end of the meal the waitress’s attitude had rubbed off on all of us. We were a bit snooty to her before we left. We–I–should not have been.
I forgot what I usually remember, that people act the way they do for a reason. The girl’s attitude came from whatever was going on inside her. She was probably new and most likely needed training but still, she had “issues.” We’re selfish when we take offense for poor service without considering the source or the reason.
In the end my wife turned the situation into an act of kindness in the way she approached the manager. She was considerate of the waitress even as the waitress was totally inconsiderate of us. Maybe we all can learn from this event. We could all have done better but my wife revealed how kindness and a calm, respectful attitude can counter even the ugliest attitudes of others.
I do love that woman!
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